wrongness

lying

lying

in my emptiness depending

on the

smiles of

strangers

these&they obviously mean more than they should, but i can't help but fill the spaces others left because of their refusal to see me fill them with their small gestures of kindness, can't help but show myself to them in the hope that this gives them something to, in the hope for connection, even though no one else will understand, even though i feel guilty, even though i feel like abandoning others, even though i fear that then nobody will be there for me, even though this means only living in other distances, but

i'm

delusional&

should just

cut off

everything to

stop

lying

lying

in my emptiness depending

&just

stick to

lying

in my emptiness